It's very easy, especially if you're analytically-minded, to doubt and condemn yourself when dealing with loss. The accepted archetypes of grieving look so much more raw and emotional that, if you're the sort who responds instead by thinking through things, you can find yourself looking self-involved and cold. Then you feel guilty about it, which your mind again tells you is a selfish concern, and the whole thing snowballs.It wasn't until today that I came to see how selfish grief and mourning are. It's not about the loss of a life, it's about how that loss affects oneself and I, honestly, feel a bit guilty about it. I could go on and on, as I'm still processing the emotion, but I'll end this for now. No promises that I won't bring it up again, but it's definitely a weight on my chest right now.
I'd recommend giving yourself a break. Humans are goofy and diverse, they deal with things in different and often strange ways, and if you're built to be a thinker then you shouldn't feel bad for it. I've followed a pattern like you describe during events from my own life, with hindsight it's easier to see that everyone has their own way and that's alright. Good luck.