My video game and life delemma

Maltriagon

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Location
Canada
Bit of a rant here. Last night I came home from work and into a messy home that needs cleaning. I tried to ignore it for as long as I could, focusing my attention on my new puppy who is quite a bit of work right now. I went to make supper (at almost 10 at night) and realized there were no clean plates and had to wash a single plate and clear my kitchen counter so I had room to get to the microwave. I probably sound like a slob but I actually do lots of cleaning. It's just it gets so bad so quick if I leave things for to long. I end up leaving them usually when I'm working long hours multiple days in a row. Lately I've been numbly hopping onto state of decay 2 and playing the game in an unfeeling haze. I guess I came to the realization that I've got too much going on to be spending time in front of the TV. I hate coming home to a disaster house, the TV is just my escape, I don't get any pleasure from it. My girlfriend has very high anxiety that we are seeing counsellors for and now she's sick on top of it. I guess I just came to rant because I've always tried to be a gamer. I mean to the point that it stresses me out. I've accumulated so many games I've never played. A long while ago my friends convinced me to get DBZ fighters. I payed full price for it and never played it. Same thing happened with monster hunter world. I suppose I try to get into games and end up just dropping them and becoming stressed out by the amount of games I have to play. I think I need to walk away. This doesn't mean I don't enjoy video games but I think maybe if I just focus most of my attention at getting things feeling okay, then it will get better. I just don't want to burn out only doing chores and all that kind of crap. I'm just ranting because I guess I'm looking for advice or encouragement. A lot of you guys play a decent amount of games but you've always got lots of other stuff going on as well. I think I've always been the guy who just doesn't know how to manage time like that. I've always played video games at the expense of other things or did other things and never touched the games. It's a one or the other type of deal with me. Anyways if you made it to the end thanks, really appreciate it.
 

QMJS

Zed Hunter
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Location
Eastern USA
Recognizing the problem and wanting to fix it is a good first step. I am a lifelong procrastinator... here are some things that I do when it gets out of hand.

A few things that will help: A list, a schedule, and a cheap electronic timer.

Make a list of what needs to get done. Break it into stuff that needs to be done once and stuff that has to be done periodically. Split them into multiple tasks by area (such as for the kitchen, wash dishes, take out trash, clean counters, make grocery list, sweep floor, and so on.) Add a task to adjust and update the list every week. Preferably, make the individual tasks things that will take less than 20 minutes or so to complete.

Schedule time for working, sleeping, cooking/eating, getting ready for work, and so on first. After that, add specific time to spend with the girlfriend, date nights, watching movies, or whatever. (If you are spending enough time playing games that other important things aren't getting done, the chances are that you are not spending much time together... and that will eventually end it.)

The remaining time is what you will use for doing the tasks on the list and gaming. Set the timer for a short period of time (10-20 minutes) and put it wherever the next task you need to get done is. Play for a while until it goes off and you have to get up to turn it off. Now you are standing where the task is... do it. Go to the next spot and set it again. Repeat as needed.

If you try to do everything at once, you'll end up putting the next thing off and fairly soon you end up back where you started. Once you get caught up, maintenance is easier and faster than recovering from a total mess. You'll be spending less time as you maintain things instead of cleaning up a crisis over and over.

Don't buy games just because you might want to play it eventually... leave them for when you have exhausted what you do have, and then buy something new. You'll save a lot of money, and probably will have better experiences with them, avoiding some from reputation, and getting others after the initial patches have worked out 'day one' bugs.

And overall... remember that changing things like this take time. You won't succeed in a week, so have patience, and just keep at it.
 

chikawowwow

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 21, 2018
Location
Poor side of the river
With doing tasks around the house (or elsewhere) that seem insurmountable it's better to work backwards and find something that you will actually do. If you can't clean the whole house do the dishes, if you can't do the dishes just take the bins/trash out. It's more often the starting which is the issue so find something however small and do it. Just don't then now decide you have to do all the rest.
Just focus on doing something every day, something that you are happy to do. If you find yourself getting home, sitting down then doing nothing then just do it straight away as soon as you get home. This is what I do.

I wouldn't recommend going from doing stuff every few days to doing everything every day. That kind of reversal may work short term but it's unlikely to continue considering this is the same tactic that New Years Resolutions & Diets use. You're better off IMO focusing on the little improvements which lead over to bigger ones, than going all in for a big one straight away.

As for gaming, it's difficult to say without knowing your specific circumstances, just don't avoid things that are important to you in order to game. People have all kinds of hobbies that others would say to much time is spent on, the only real indicator of whether it is a bad influence is when a person starts pulling away from reality in favour of the hobby.
 

DumplingBadger

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Mar 15, 2018
Location
Dorset, UK
Sorry to hear you're struggling with things getting on top of you.

I'll echo the advice above; break it down into small manageable chunks, don't try and do too much too quickly as you'll likely just feel it's insurmountable, and make gradual changes to your routine.

I'd add that it's best to try and keep any lists you make of things to do to five or less on each one. It makes it easier to pick where to start and psychologically doesn't appear overwhelming.
 

Maltriagon

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Location
Canada
Thanks for all the wonderful responses guys. I do make lists to help manage. I think it works for a time and then I stop updating or following said lists, so I need to work on that. I just powered through everything today. I'm almost completely done everything that was stressing me out... That being said I don't want to power through this all again when it surmounts. I need to, like you've all mentioned above, make small tasks for myself that will keep things down to a minimum. I might actually have time for other things if I don't have to power the chores for half the day everytime I get a day off. I'll try just doing a few things as soon as I get home from work. Just gotta keep on top of it. Tomorrow is fishing all day and beer drinking. I definitely need that haha. I'll finish up more in the garden and take care of the bills today and make a list for tomorrow. (Just do a few things since I'm gone most of the day.) Thanks again guys. Really appreciate all your helpful responses.
 

Dunadain

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Mar 10, 2018
Location
94542
I understand! Do what you NEED to, and don't forget to relax. Try to veg for at least an hour a day. Gaming, music, fishing, whatever. It's so easy to allow life to fill up your day. Don't forget to rest.
(off to try to take own advice and ignore the laundry)
 

Maltriagon

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Location
Canada
I understand! Do what you NEED to, and don't forget to relax. Try to veg for at least an hour a day. Gaming, music, fishing, whatever. It's so easy to allow life to fill up your day. Don't forget to rest.
(off to try to take own advice and ignore the laundry)
Lol I'll try to remember that. Thanks @Dunadain
 

Maltriagon

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Location
Canada
@Maltriagon How are you getting on now mate?
Working on it. I've actually been taking up writing and reading. Doing more of that than video games. I have been playing state of decay and been getting back into overwatch. We got my girlfriend into counselling and seeing a psychiatrist for her meds. It's a waiting process though. I've just been putting games in the back of my mind for a while. Doing other hobbies and projects. I think I just have so much on the go I don't want to stress about games. Might try sea of thieves with my pc buddies. Thanks @chikawowwow I really really appreciate the check up buddy.
 

Mad Dog Kelso

Zed Hunter
Joined
Jan 29, 2018
Location
Florida
We all have different temperaments, predilections, weaknesses, and strengths. So a certain type of approach (toward, say, a goal, or a task) that works for one person may be utterly ineffective for someone else. And vice versa.

About five years ago I came to the realization that romantic relationships weren't ever going to work for me. I'm too independent and self-centered (which SOUNDS a lot worse than it actually is); not pathologically selfish and narcissistic, mind you, but the kind of person who simply values his leisure time. Since my divorce in 2003, I've intentionally kept my life simple and uncluttered. Outside of my job as a waiter, my pursuits are reading, writing, table-top RPG-ing, thinking, movies, shows, and playing video games (mostly SoD 2). That's about it. I'm a homebody by nature, though I have an intimate circle of friends, and my family ties are strong. (I'm particularly close to my niece, as she is the nearest thing to a daughter that I'll ever have. I love her deeply, and, as she grows, I'm quite looking forward to colonizing her brain with everything that stirs me deep -- to imprint, if you will, an echo of my essence onto her, since I have no progeny of my own.)

I guess what I'm driving at is this: start with a no-holds-barred honest assessment of yourself, and then construct the edifice of your daily routine accordingly. Life ain't a dress rehearsal. We pass the moments in the shadow of the clock. And as far as I can determine, we only go around once. Make the time count.
 

Maltriagon

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Location
Canada
We all have different temperaments, predilections, weaknesses, and strengths. So a certain type of approach (toward, say, a goal, or a task) that works for one person may be utterly ineffective for someone else. And vice versa.

About five years ago I came to the realization that romantic relationships weren't ever going to work for me. I'm too independent and self-centered (which SOUNDS a lot worse than it actually is); not pathologically selfish and narcissistic, mind you, but the kind of person who simply values his leisure time. Since my divorce in 2003, I've intentionally kept my life simple and uncluttered. Outside of my job as a waiter, my pursuits are reading, writing, table-top RPG-ing, thinking, movies, shows, and playing video games (mostly SoD 2). That's about it. I'm a homebody by nature, though I have an intimate circle of friends, and my family ties are strong. (I'm particularly close to my niece, as she is the nearest thing to a daughter that I'll ever have. I love her deeply, and, as she grows, I'm quite looking forward to colonizing her brain with everything that stirs me deep -- to imprint, if you will, an echo of my essence onto her, since I have no progeny of my own.)

I guess what I'm driving at is this: start with a no-holds-barred honest assessment of yourself, and then construct the edifice of your daily routine accordingly. Life ain't a dress rehearsal. We pass the moments in the shadow of the clock. And as far as I can determine, we only go around once. Make the time count.
Very well put. I too will not be having children. I guess a lot of people will say things they think should be a goal or a value one should have because it is the expected norm, but like you said focusing on yourself above all and figuring out a plan for your life specific to you is key. My life and values are quite different from societal norms, much like yours seem to be. It can be hard to relate to people at times because of that. Getting caught up in the "I shoulds" or "I need to do this" should be avoided. At least when it doesn't pertain to my values or goals. I think I went a little off tangent there but thanks for that mad dog. It's cool you know what's right for you and you're following your path in your own unique way.
 
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