Clothing

SwissArmyKnife

Alamo Radioman
Staff member
Joined
Jan 8, 2018
T-Shirts:
  • A plain black t-shirt.
  • A well worn shirt with the Empire of the Rising Sun logo from the Red Alert game series.
  • The company logo, ‘Empire Cinemas’ is printed across the front with a stylized movie theater print across the back of it.
  • Cotton proof that there is a limit to how much you can tie-dye a shirt before it looks weird.
  • This shirt is so ugly that even zombies wouldn't be caught dead in it.
  • T-shirt inception, this shirt has a picture of a zombie biting a person wearing this shirt design.
  • It is a plain, white shirt but it has someone's name, address, blood-type, and even birthdate on it in sharpie.
  • It has the words 'This is what a real man looks like'.
  • A nice, button-up shirt, like those worn by high class waiters in movies.
  • A grey shirt with a reaper drone on it with the phrase ‘Covert Freedom Delivery Service’ across the top.
  • Someone washed this shirt poorly, it was very obviously not pink originally.
  • A camo-green shirt with a medic symbol in the middle.
  • An ironic shirt with the phrase 'Only zombies like women for their brains', in a women's size and covered in blood around the neck.
Torn T-Shirt:
  • Stained in blood, this shirt is torn in several places and doesn't offer much protection. It might make do in a pinch, but there are probably better options out there.
  • From chest to stomach, the multi-coloured shirt has been ripped apart. The blood on the tear makes me nervous about wearing it.
  • Scissor precise strips have been taken from the bottom off of this plain, white shirt. It looks like it was used for bandages.
  • The blood on this 'DIY warehouse' makes me think it was zombies that got this guy but the bumpy nature of the tear makes it look like thousand bullets passed through the shirt.
  • The black shirt has been sliced straight down the middle, almost as if it was cut down the middle with a buzz-saw.
  • Something has been driven through this bloodied shirt, it looks almost like it was a stake as a massive hole is where the heart should be.
  • It looks like this shirt was used to tie together parts of a car, it is covered in oil and it is impossible to tell what color it is meant to be.
  • This shirt bears the face of a bearded man but his beard was torn off like the rest of the shirt. it looks like the torn fabric was made into a sling.
  • A section has been torn out of the middle, from neck to naval, yet it is clean cut. It is almost as if someone cut it out of the shirt but I don't know why someone would do that.
  • This shirt has been torn in the back downwards. It looks like someone dragged someone's head and spine through the back of their shirt, leaving a visually pleasing slice in the back.
  • This shirt has a massive tear taken from the neck as if something dug it's claws into the neck and ripped downwards to the chest. It is kinda scary.
  • Smeared in blood, this shirt has the phrase 'This is my zombie killing tee' on it with large claw marks across the back.
Sweater:
  • The elves on this Christmas sweater are almost too cute for words.
  • A real hopping special of a sweater, featuring a dog hump a bunny.
  • A basic dark blue sweater, void of any designs or logos.
  • A festive T-Rex dons the front with a Christmas hat on its head.
  • An attempt to be funny, the sweater shows a potato with the phrase ‘Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potato’.
  • Velvety soft sweater with an alluring smell of a woman still lingering on it.
  • Made in incredibly bad taste, this sweater has iron on words in the phrase ‘Lost my virginity to a zombie’.
  • Imprinted with a Canadian leaf on the front, it states ‘On The Eh Team’ below it.
  • One half of a matching sweater pair that says, ‘I’m With Him’ and an arrow pointing to the left.
  • An oversized sweater with the phrase ‘No Pants Are The Best Pants’ on it.
  • Caked in mud and blood, this sweater could not smell worse unless this mud was crap.
  • A dark black sweater with only a single initial on it, 'D'. What does that even mean.
  • A sleeping dragon logo is printed on the front breast pocket with a burning city on the back. What is this advertising.
Ripped Sweater:
  • Caked in mud and blood, this sweater has seen better days. On the plus side, it's warmer than the torn t-shirts that many of the zeds wear.
  • It looks like a christmas sweater and it would have been warm, except for the massive holes torn through it by probing fingers. Sad really.
  • An Old Glory sweater with a single bullet hole in the chest and a massive exit hole in the back. Really, it's a shame.
  • A sweater with 'Empire Cinemas' written on it, looks like a Christmas sweater made for the company. A large vertical hole in the shape of an ax blade runs down the middle of it.
  • A plain white sweater with 'Ho ho ho I have a machine gun' with bullet holes in it.
  • It has a science joke on it yet there is the sleeves ripped off for bandages. I guess it would have been better if it had a medical joke on it.
  • The sweater is a poorly knitted mess that looked like it unravelled as the person ran away wearing it. It probably didn't help that there are claw marks in the back.
  • It looks like someone chewed the sweater up a mouthful at a time. I don't want to know why.
  • The sweater has four long stripes taken out of it; two from either side, one from the front, and one from the back.
  • A blue-green sweater with the sleeves ripped off and blood stains surrounding the holes.
  • Twin holes were taken out of this sweater in the chest area, someone’s bad attempt at a Halloween sweater. It looks really tacky.
  • There are claw marks across the front of it, but you can still make out the original Easter bunny and basket design.
Well-Worn Pants:
  • You had to strip a zombie for these pair of pants. How does that make you feel? They are well-worn with all the rips, tears and holes to prove it.
  • It is like someone has been using these as a gag. There are teeth marks along some parts of it..
  • It looks like this was knotted into a mace. From the blood covering it, it was effective for a while.
  • You know when people skid on their knees at a rock concert? It looks like someone was doing a lot of that.
  • It looks like these were worn for years before ending up here.
  • Strangely, only the back is worn. It looks like these were dragged along by the back of a truck.
  • These pants were badly patched up by thread and stitches, they seem to be falling apart by just existing.
  • There are holes all accross these pants. It looks like they were lived in by moths more than people.
  • These pants had a note in, saying to find someone called Lilly. I have no idea who Lilly is.
  • These camo pants seemed to have lived in the woods all of their live, the little twigs found in the holes make it seem that way.
Torn Shorts:
  • Cargo shorts have lots of pockets to find some good loot in. Not these though. Some person ripped off of the pockets.
  • Little medic patches were stitched into the pockets. They look like they were meant for an improvsed medic. The blood makes it seem like they weren't good at their job.
  • They look like they are from an 80s rave. A blast from the past and they look like they were caught in an explosive blast of their own too.
  • Seemingly destroyed by claws, these shorts still look like they would fit and they are probably a lot better than being naked.
  • In all of these pockets, the cargo shorts had little clumps of paper, as if they were washed with paper in. It looks like someone had a porno mag stuffed in their pockets during the wash.
  • There were a bunch of shell casings in these shorts, it looks like some of the brass even burned holes through the pockets. They are still wearable though.
  • It looks like someone tried to use these for bandages but couldn't tear quickly enough and, instead, used the entire shorts. They are still functional, despite the blood.
  • These shorts look like they were used by a man that ran for a living. Covered in old sweat and tears where muscles would have been. From the blood, it seems he couldn't run fast enough.
  • You know when they have to cut clothes to put a cast on in the hospital? It looks someone did that to these shorts too.
  • These shorts look like they were hidden in a cache. Someone was waiting for this day to come. Sadly, the moths must have gotten into the little cache too. The shorts are pristine, even with the holes.
 

YojimBeau

Alamo Leader
Staff member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Shoes:
*A pair of laced tennis shoes with a swoosh on the side. Functional and durable. Good find!
*A pair of leather shoes with non-slip rubber soles. Fugly but sturdy and safe. Good stuff!
*A pair of worn cowboy boots. The soles are worn and kinda slick, but the uppers seem to offer good protection.
*A pair of sturdy hiking boots. Thick soles, heavy laces and good padding. These will last a good while.
*A pair of steel-toe work boots. Heavy, solid and sturdy. Probably good enough to kick in a skull if needed.
*A pair of rubber overshoes. Water-proof, but a little flimsy. They're comfy, but they probably won't last long.
 

YojimBeau

Alamo Leader
Staff member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Hats:
*A simple piece of cloth tied back over one's head, commonly referred to as a doo-rag. Not much, but it'll keep the sweat out of your eyes.
*A knit stocking cap. Tight, black and warm. It keeps your noggin warm, but doesn't offer any protection.
*A baseball cap with the logo of a landmark from San Antonio above the brim. The logo bears the words "The Alamo".
*A baseball cap with cloth flaps on the back. It's outdated, but it does keep your neck from getting sunburned.
*A wide-brimmed, shapeless hat. In military circles it's called a boonies hat, there are small loops around the cap where one can store shotgun shells.
*A straw cowboy hat. Flimsy and cheap, it offers no protection other than keeping the sun off one's face.
*A Stetson, the Cadillac of cowboy hats. This badboy cost a pretty penny back in the day. Now, well it keeps the sun off your face.
 
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YojimBeau

Alamo Leader
Staff member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Helmets:
*A throwback to the old Army. Good old fashioned 'steel pot'. It's very heavy, but it's damned solid. Steel helmet with supportive webbing inside.
*A riot helmet, the local police department's shield is emblazoned on both sides. The plexiglass face shield still slides up and down. Bonus!
*A military-grade riot helmet. This kevlar helmet has a functional face shield, as well as a forest camouflage cover.
*A standard issue fireman's helmet. Solid and reliable, as well as having the assurance of an ember guard to protect your neck.
*A modern Army-issue kevlar helmet. G.I. issue, nothing special, but it is good, solid gear. Superior protection.
*An EOD helmet. Full bomb-gear. This thing makes it impossible to see anything other than a 40 degree window, but it'll keep your head attached in the event of an explosion.
 

YojimBeau

Alamo Leader
Staff member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Gloves:
*Fingerless gloves. Commonly acknowledged as weightlifter gloves. They have light padding in the palm and offer minor knuckle protection.
*A pair of gardening gloves with little grippy dots that fall off if you look at them. Thanks VVALueMART. Total junk.
*A pair of neoprene gloves. Light weight, minor thermal protection, but still allows a good deal of manual dexterity.
*A pair of leather work gloves. Sturdy craftsmanship. These gloves protect and serve. Salute, mon suir.
*A set of blacksmithing gauntlets. These protect your arms up the the elbows with solid leather guards. Outstanding!
 

YojimBeau

Alamo Leader
Staff member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Pants:
*A pair of linen pants. Breathable, but no real protection from the elements. But, hey, you look good.
*A pair of generic blue jeans. Thin, but still offers a bit of protection, being denim.
*A pair of LiVe 105s, button-fly. Super comfortable and thick denim jeans. You get what you pay for.
*A pair of LiVe 505s, zipper-fly. Relax-fit and thick denim jeans. What more could you ask for?
*A pair of "Cockers" brand casual wear pants. No matter your position, you have an odd tent at or about your crotch.
*A pair of cut-off camouflage shorts. When survival meets minimalism, these shorts are your go-to.
*A pair of cargo shorts. When your go-to plan doesn't include camouflage.
*A pair of forest camouflage pants. Blending in,while offering maximum load-out. Top notch gear.
 

YojimBeau

Alamo Leader
Staff member
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
Shirts:
*A simple A-shirt, loose cotton tank that hangs limply off your frame but it offers a modicum of modesty...barely.
*A white cotton t-shirt, no frills. Just a simple tee to cover and provide some warmth.
*A blue mechanics shirt, above the left pocket a patch says "Marshall Public Works" and below that is a nametag which says "Cletus".
*A tan sheriff's shirt with the name "Grimes" printed over the left breast pocket. I feel like I should wear this and it'll help me make the right decisions.
*A blue pinstripe,button-down collar shirt. The penultimate office-wear. Not too casual, not too formal...perfecto....well, until now. Just a shirt now.
*A black and white "dad shirt". Golf style, button down top with short sleeves. Pure polyester, but you get what you pay for.
*A Hawaiian style shirt. Pineapples and palm trees besiege this couture nightmare.
 

SomeRandomGuy

Alamo Rookie
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Shirts:
A white t-shirt with "_SS H_LE" in large print on the front and "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat" underneath in smaller letters.
A camo pattern t-shirt with "Be vewwy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits!" printed on the front.
A black t-shirt with "I'd rather be playing D&D" printed on the back underneath a stylized image of a red Dragon.
A plain blue muscle shirt. Nothing special here.
Your basic white tank top. Nothing special here.
A military dress shirt, still neatly pressed with the creases intact. You can't help but wonder where the rest of the uniform is.
A t-shirt with the words "I'm with stupid" printed on it and an arrow pointing to the right.


Damaged shirts:
A bloody, badly torn t-shirt with the words "Come get some!" on the front. It would seem as though something did, indeed, get some.
A dark blue shirt with "Lead, follow, or get out of the way." printed on it. There is also a bullet hole center of mass in the middle of a blood stain with the words, "Should've gotten out of the way, moron" scrawled underneath in permanent marker.
A greasy work shirt with the name tag ripped off. It's not actually in all that bad condition except for being absolutely filthy.
 
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